The Midget and the Giant

Mary W. Matthews

This essay was written for publication on September 11, 2002.

Once upon a time, a midget hated a giant.

The giant had the most access to riches in the village, by far. The midget’s people controlled most of the wealth in the entire world (oil and gas), but a tiny elite hogged almost all of it for themselves.

The giant freely gave gifts to almost everyone in the village. The midget took the giant’s gifts and despised the giant even more.

The giant was very popular. Almost everyone wanted to dress like the giant and play with the giant’s toys. The midget was certain that he was a better person than the “decadent” giant and that he deserved the giant’s riches, power, and popularity far more than the giant did.

The giant was committed to freedom. The midget and his people were committed to a religion whose most fundamental principle was theocratic totalitarianism.

The midget’s religion promised that it was the most perfect religion that had ever been or ever would be. The midget’s god promised that everyone in the Universe was predestined to burn in Hell for all eternity, except for midgets and a few of their women possessions. The midget’s god commanded all midgets to force others to accept his religion or kill them.*

Note: Qu'ran references (hide)
Sura 3:19, 5:3, 3:110, 55:77, 85:21-22 (perfection), Sura 57:22, 7:179, 87:2-3, 4:151,155, 9:51 (predestination), Sura 9:4-6, 3:83, 4:91, 2:191-93, 8:39, 8:65 (divinely sanctioned murder of unbelievers), and a rock-bottom minimum of 100 similar citations on the three topics (I stopped counting).
The giant, on the other hand, thought that no one should force anyone else to worship in a certain way, or indeed at all.

The midget decided that his god would be best pleased by the destruction of  the giant. For more than ten years, the midget put sugar in the giant’s gas tanks, burned down the giant’s tool sheds, and smashed the giant’s garden statuary. It seemed as though the giant hardly even noticed the midget’s existence — which only made the midget hate the giant more.

So one day, without provocation, the midget took a sword and chopped off the giant’s toe. Then the midget ran into the bramble forest and hid. The wounded giant, with the help or sympathy of everyone in the village who wasn’t a midget, burned down the house of the midget’s evil landlord. This didn’t make anyone feel much better, except (temporarily) the land­lord’s female possessions.

The giant is searching the bramble forest, but it’s not much fun (that stump still hurts), and the midget has every motive in the world to stay well out of the giant’s reach.

I have no idea what will happen next in this story. Any peaceful overtures from the giant would merely convince the contemptuous midget of the ultimate success of his evil plan.

In an ideal world, the midget could be brought to understand that what he did was wrong, to sincerely apologize and to make amends. But the midget’s hatred is such an obsession that he is deaf to everyone except other midgets. The other midgets say the hate-filled midget did not cut off the giant’s toe, that it was actually done by the giant’s homeboy. All the midgets hate the giant’s homeboy, because the homie’s religion gave birth to their own, and yet the homie still clings to it rather than recognizing the perfection of the midgets’ religion. They also hate him because he lives among the midgets and manages to be more successful than they are (with their perfect religion) — even though they’re all trying to destroy the homie, or at least want to. The midgets are certain that the homie’s success could only be the giant’s doing.

In other words, since this is not an ideal world, atonement and reconciliation would take a miracle. All we can do is seek justice. Meanwhile we must guard against another attack and work at getting the midgets to understand that terrorism is evil in the eyes of any god worthy of the name.

And we must do it while resolutely declaring to the entire village that our quest is not about vengeance but justice, and that religion has nothing to do with the situation. If this were about religion, the giant’s friends would accuse the giant of being a bully and a gorilla. Soon everyone in the village would be getting into fistfights — and one of the giant’s legs would become spastic and start kicking the other leg.

Moreover, it really isn’t about religion; that’s just the toe-chopper’s rationalization. True practitioners of the midget’s religion take it seriously. The midget and his minions enjoyed such “giant” entertainments as strip joints, karaoke clubs, and, in Florida, lap-dancing. There is nothing in the midget’s holy books in favor of strip clubs and lap-dancing. The toe-chopper and his closest friends (including the evil landlord) practice not a religion, but an ideology, one closely similar to Marxism-Leninism and virtually indistinguishable from fascism.

This being the case, I think that the giant should not get distracted by the red herring of religion — distasteful as the midget’s strange ideas are to those who have not been indoctrinated from birth about their god-given perfection.

The giant should focus on fighting fascism disguised as religion. An international coalition should insist on the benefits of freedom, equality, and mutual respect over the midget’s totalitarianism and oppression.

And p.s., you jerks: Women are people too, and I don’t give a flying fig what Sura 4:34, 2:223-28, and many similar citations teach otherwise.