quote=new Array();
quote[0]="Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. — Abraham Lincoln";
quote[1]="A bore is someone who can change the conversation back to his/her topic of interest faster than you can change it back to yours.";
quote[2]="No one who can read is ever successful at cleaning out an attic.";
quote[3]="Minds are like parachutes in that they only work right when they're open.";
quote[4]="No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. — Aesop"
quote[5]="You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself. — Ethel Barrymore";
quote[6]="Most time is wasted not in hours but in minutes. A bucket with a small hole in the bottom gets just as empty as a bucket that is deliberately kicked over. — Paul J. Meyer";
quote[7]="Mincing your words makes it easier if you have to eat them later. — Franklin P. Jones";
quote[8]="Would the child you were be proud of the adult you are?";
quote[9]="Most people would die sooner than think: in fact, they do.";
quote[10]="Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. — Charlotte Whitten";
quote[11]="I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians; they are so unlike your Christ. — Gandhi";
quote[12]="When I get a little money, I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes. — Erasmus";
quote[13]="Believe in humanity's basic goodness — but be careful where you bend over. — Arthur Godfrey";
quote[14]="Say the right thing at the right time; and — far harder — leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.";
quote[15]="We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. — Kurt Vonnegut";
quote[16]='Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. — Wynn Catlin';
quote[17]="We may not return the affection of those who like us,
but we respect their good judgment. — Libbie Fudim";
quote[18]="It is impossible to reach that dizzy height of wisdom where you can no longer be led around by your nose. — Mark Twain";
quote[19]="Everything wants to be loved. . . . You ever notice that trees do everything to get attention we do, except walk? — Alice Walker";
quote[20]="Early to bed and early to rise,
Is rough on the night life, and therefore unwise.";
quote[21]="Think you've got influence? Try commanding someone else's dog.";
quote[22]="Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It frustrates you and it annoys the pig.";
quote[23]="Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably why so few people engage in it. — Henry Ford";
quote[24]="The secret of living is to find people who will pay you money to do what you would pay to do if you had the money. — Sarah Caldwell";
quote[25]="Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you. — Satchel Paige";
quote[26]="There are two kinds of people: Those who are good at math, those who are bad at math, and those who are atrocious at math.";
quote[27]="If reality wants to get in touch with me, it knows where I am.";
quote[28]="Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do direct me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can. — Jane Austen";
quote[29]="The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking. — Christopher Morley";
quote[30]="The only thing in the world worth a damn is the strange, touching, pathetic, awesome nobility of the human spirit. — John D. MacDonald";
quote[31]="Humanity, I love you because you are perpetually putting the secret of life in your pants and forgetting it's there and sitting down on it. — e.e. cummings";
quote[32]="The one who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke.";
quote[33]="The longer you keep your temper, the more it will improve. — Shenandoah Valley Cookbook";
quote[34]="If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then stop. No use making a damn fool out of yourself. — W.C. Fields";
quote[35]="I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your effort to believe it. — Wilson Mizner";
quote[36]="If you think that one individual can't make a difference in the
world, consider what one cigar can do to a nine-room house.";
quote[37]="If you realize that you aren't as wise today as you thought you were yesterday, you are wiser today.";
quote[38]="The average woman would rather be beautiful than smart
because the average man can see better than he can think.";
quote[39]="If we cannot laugh at ourselves, other people will be happy to do it for us.";
quote[40]="If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing read by people who move their lips when they look at pictures. — Don Marquis";
quote[41]="It's not what you know that counts, it's what you can think of in time.";
quote[42]="Smart is when you believe only half of what you hear. Brilliant is when you know which half is which. — Bob Orben";
quote[43]="Discipline is like broccoli: We may not care for it ourselves, but feel it would be good for everyone else.";
quote[44]="One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. — Jane Austen";
quote[45]="Kindness in words creates confidence; kindness in thinking
creates profoundness; kindness in giving creates love. — Lao-tzu"
quote[46]="The wise shepherd never trusts the flock to a smiling wolf.";
quote[47]="The wise shepherdess never trusts the flock to a smiling wolf.";
quote[48]='No one ever said on his/her deathbed, "I wish I had spent more time at the office."';
quote[49]="I always keep a supply of stimulant on hand in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. — W.C. Fields";
quote[50]="Would the child you were be proud of the adult you are? — Don K. Shayne";
quote[51]="Isn't it interesting how people who \"don't have enough time\" to do it right, FIND the time to do it over?";
quote[52]="We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. — Kurt Vonnegut";
quote[53]="Beautiful young people are accidents of nature. Beautiful old people are works of art.";
quote[54]="The first step toward becoming either estimable or agreeable is to discover that you are a fool.";
quote[55]="A first-rate intelligence can hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still function. — F. Scott Fitzgerald";
quote[56]="If you leave the smallest corner of your head vacant for a moment, other people's opinions will rush in from all quarters. — George Bernard Shaw";
quote[57]="It's not what you know that counts, it's what you can think of in time.";
quote[58]="Kindness in words creates confidence; kindness in thinking creates profoundness; kindness in giving creates love. — Lao-tzu";
quote[59]="The sense of being well-dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquility which religion is powerless to bestow. — Forbes";
quote[60]="A politician thinking for himself is an idea no one can face with equanimity. — W.S. Gilbert";
quote[61]="What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?";
quote[62]="It is only in the mystical equations of love that any logic or reason can be found. — John Nash";
quote[63]="There's no use in being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.";
quote[64]="Release facts slowly, behind the pace at which they are already leaking. Don't tell the whole story unless forced to do so. Emphasize what went well; euphemize what went wrong. Become indignant at any suggestion of poor judgment. Disparage any facts other than your own. — Colin Powell";
quote[65]="Dr. Johnson having freely expressed his aversion to punning, Boswell hinted that his illustrious friend's dislike of this species of small wit might arise from his inability to play upon words. “Sir!” roared Johnson. “If I were punish-ed for every pun I shed, there would not be left a puny shed of my punnish head.” — Bob Baugh";
quote[66]="“I'm really easy-going, once you have learned to worship me.” — Maxine Kushner";
quote[67]="It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to work off.";
quote[68]="I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.";
quote[69]="God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they totally cheesed me off.";
quote[70]="Help wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.";
quote[71]="Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. — Will Rogers";
quote[72]="The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything. — Katharine Harris (actually, it was Josef Stalin)";
quote[73]="More than 25 percent of your genes are the same as those of a banana. Get over yourself.";
quote[74]="The more you can increase fear — of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants, and aliens, for example — the more you control ALL the people. — Noam Chomsky";
quote[75]="Whom Would Jesus Bomb?";
quote[76]="Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative. — John Stuart Mill";
quote[77]="Don't make me release the flying monkeys!";
quote[78]="Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did — only backwards and in high heels.";
quote[79]="What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?";
quote[80]="You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists.— Abbie Hoffman";
quote[81]="I haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister.";
quote[82]="Common sense needs constant reappraisal. — Einstein";
quote[83]="I have animal magnetism. When I go out, squirrels stick to my clothes.";
quote[84]="Show me God's penis!";
quote[85]="Theology is the study of God and God's ways. For all we know, dung beetles may study humanity and call it humanology. If so, we would probably be more touched and amused than irritated. One hopes that God feels likewise. — Frederick Buechner";
quote[86]="Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.";
quote[87]="The Church says the Earth is flat. But I know that it is round. For I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church. — Ferdinand Magellan";
quote[88]="We know this life as a raindrop: a thing of beauty that disappears as it comes into being.";
quote[89]="Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like there's no one watching.";
quote[90]="Don't make me release the flying monkeys.";
quote[91]="Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid, it is true that most stupid people are conservatives. — John Stuart Mill";
quote[92]="Only when the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will Republicans realize that we can't eat money. &Mdash; Cree proverb";
quote[93]="When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will have peace.";
quote[94]="The LAST time Americans mixed religion and politics, women got burned at the stake.";
quote[95]="Liberals treat dogs like people. Conservatives treat people like dogs.";
quote[96]="Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. — Voltaire";
quote[97]="The media are only as liberal as the conservative businesses that own them.";
quote[98]="49 percent of America agrees with 99 percent of the rest of the world.";
quote[99]="I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians; they are so unlike your Christ. — Gandhi";
quote[100]="Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. — Will Rogers";
quote[101]="Why experiment on lab animals when there are so many “values voters”?";
quote[102]="People who claim that God is on their side are as dangerous as Hell.";
quote[103]="Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.";
quote[104]="The world in which you were born is just one model of reality. Other cultures are not failed attempts at being you; they are unique manifestations of the human spirit. — Wade Davis";
quote[105]="Early warning signs of fascism: Powerful and continuing nationalism; disdain for human rights; identification of enemies as a unifier; supremacy of the military; rampant sexism; controlled mass media; obsession with national security; religion and government intertwined; corporate power protected; labor power suppressed; disdain for intellectuals and the arts; obsession with crime and punishment; rampant cronyism and corruption; fraudulent elections. — Lawrence W. Britt";
quote[106]="We live as though the world were as it SHOULD be, to show the world what it CAN be. This is the essence of Jesus's vision of God's Perfect World.";
quote[107]="Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. — Mother Theresa";
quote[108]="Do not wait for life. Do not long for it. Be aware, always and at every moment, that the miracle is in the here and now. — Marcel Proust";
quote[109]="Live well, laugh often, learn much, love always.";
quote[110]="Home is not where you live. Home is where they understand you and appreciate you and love you. And you them. — Mary W. Matthews";
quote[111]="When you are with a friend, your heart has come home.";
quote[112]="Live the life you have imagined. — Thoreau";
quote[113]="Speak your love often, and show your love always: find the time, keep a promise, mend a quarrel, forgive an enemy, welcome a stranger. And above all, pray.";
quote[114]="Your life is not static, but flows like a river. Life is change: growth, discovery, transformation. Not to change is to die. Living and changing mean learning to see clearly, to hear deeply, to feel the pain and joy of the world. Listen to your intuition. Take risks, accept challenges, embrace your enemies. Love God back. — Mary W. Matthews";
quote[115]="God’s Domain is not another term for Heaven or the world as it will be after the Second Coming. It is here now, today, this minute, a commonwealth of peace and freedom without injustice, anger, fear, or malevolence. We Christians must live in God’s Domain as if it were the present reality Jesus saw. We must live as if the world were what it should be, so as to show the world what it could be. — Mary W. Matthews";
quote[116]="Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes.";
quote[117]="Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.";
quote[118]="One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life. The word is love. — Sophocles";
quote[119]="They say I have Attention Deficit Disorder, but they just don't understand. Oh, look! A chicken!";
quote[120]="Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. — Ben Franklin";
quote[121]="I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: “No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.” — Eleanor Roosevelt";
quote[122]="By all means, marry. If you get a good spouse, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. — Socrates";
quote[123]="The cardiologists' diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.";
quote[124]="All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better. — Ralph Waldo Emerson";
quote[125]="With unfailing kindness, your life always presents what you need to learn. — Charlotte Joko Beck";
quote[126]="Be joyful, though you have considered all the facts. — Wendell Berry";
quote[127]="We must live as if the world were what it SHOULD be, so the world can see what it COULD be. — Joss Whedon";
quote[128]="What we keep owns us. What we give away sets us free.";
quote[129]="Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. — L. Frank Baum";
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