I made the following translation of Psalm 34 myself — from the Greek of the Septuagint rather than from the Hebrew of the more commonly accepted Masoretic text. It is a "dynamic equivalence" translation that I hope conveys the original author's meaning more fully. As a special bonus, this translation, like the original Hebrew, is an alphabetic acrostic (the Hebrew alphabet has only 22 letters, so I skipped a few toward the end). This page contains a detailed discussion of how I made the translation.

This is the wisdom that will set you free to go home:

1. Always I will bless Our Godde;
   no matter what comes, her praise is on my lips.
2. Blessing Our Godde, my soul will be applauded;
   the compassionate will hear and be delighted.
3. Come, glorify Our Godde with me,
   and let us blazon his name across Mount Everest.
4. Dislocated, I sought out Our Godde, and she smiled on my prayer;
   from all the lonely places in my life, she released me.
5. Everyone who approaches him becomes radiant,
   and their faces will never fall in shame.
6. For the beggar who wrote this cried out, and Our Godde heard his prayers,
   and from all his dire straits she saved him.
7. God’s Holy Spirit will cradle those who adore Godde in his arms,
   protecting them from all danger.
8. Having tasted, now behold, for Our Godde is kind and gracious;
   blessed is the one who reposes confidence in her.
9. In awe, adore Our Godde, his holy ones,
   for there is no lack of abundance for the ones who adore him.
10. Kowtowed to before, the rich were beggared and went hungry;
    but the ones who seek Our Godde shall not be deprived of any good thing.
    
    Halfway!
    
11. Listen to me now, children:
    I will teach you to adore Our Godde.
12. Mortal, who is the person who chooses life,
    and loves to behold life’s good days?
13. No evil will you speak,
    and you won’t try to con anyone.
14. O, turn away from evil, and do good;
    O, eagerly seek shalom — hope, health, and peace.
15. Pleased by the righteous,
    Our Godde smiles upon their prayers.
16. Rightly the face of Our Godde is turned from those who do evil;
    he will wipe out their memory from the earth.
17. So the righteous cried out, and Our Godde heard their prayers,
    and from all their dire straits she released them.
18. To those whose hearts have been shattered Our Godde is close by,
    and he will save their spirits from debasement.
19. Uncounted are the dire straits of righteous people,
    and from every one she will release them.
20. Very truly Our Godde will cradle their very bones;
    not one of them will be shattered.
21. Wretched death is the evil that befalls sinners,
    and the ones who detest the righteous will blow it.
22. Yes, Our Godde will ransom the souls of his children in bondage,
    and those who repose their confidence in him will never blow it.