Ingredients

• 3 tablespoons of Spanish olive oil. (This is an important ingredient that you must not make substitutions for. Vigo makes the best; Goya will work. The Giant Foods house brand of olive oil is Spanish, but not every supermarket chain is the same, so check before you buy.)
• 1 1/2 cups finely chopped onion
• 1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper
• 1 cup finely chopped green bell pepper
• 6 cloves of garlic, pressed or crushed
• 1 12-oz. can of whole tomatoes, crushed by hand (this is not an effete dish!)
• 1 cup finely chopped celery
• 12 to 16 ounces of raw, shelled shrimp
• 2 1/2 cups of rice

• 4 to 5 ounces of chicken, cut into portions approximately the size of the first joint of your little finger
• 2 to 3 ounces of pork — country-style rib meat or a chop — cut the same way as the chicken. (Do not use smoked pork!)

• 4 to 5 ounces of ham, cubed
• 6 to 8 ounces of Andouille sausage, sliced thin. This is one of the most important ingredients, and it must be specifically Andouille sausage — do not make substitutions, or you'll rue the day!

• 2 cups of chicken stock (if fresh stock is not available, use 1 can of College Inn chicken broth)
• As needed: clam juice or a vegetable juice, preferably V-8. DO NOT USE WATER!
• if desired, 1 tablespoon or less of dry, pale sherry

• 1/2 tablespoon each of red pepper, black pepper, and white pepper
• A hefty pinch (1/4 tsp.) of saffron — crush it with your fingers when you add it
• 1/4 teaspoon of monosodium glutamate
• 1 1/2 teaspoons of Hungarian hot paprika (be careful not to get mixed up and use sweet paprika!)
• thyme — either a hefty pinch (1/4 tsp.) if it's dried, or about a teaspoon if it's fresh
• 1 small bay leaf

1. Heat the olive oil in a heavy pot. Cast-iron is best, but aluminum will work. (A New Orleans jambalaya pot and a Tampa paella pot are the same critter — heavy cast-iron and as roomy as a Dutch oven. If you're buying a pot, prefer one that's U.S.-made — they're heavier.)
2. Stir in the peppers, onion, garlic, and celery. Cook on high until everything is translucent.
3. Add the raw meats. Keep stirring on high until the chicken and pork have turned white.
4. Add the cured meats. Stir for 2 or 3 minutes.
5. Add the tomatoes, and stir for 5 to 6 minutes.
6. Lower the heat to medium-high. Add the stock and all the seasonings. Cook for about 20 minutes, until everything is well melded.
7. Add the rice, cover, and cook for 30 minutes.
8. Add the shrimp, and the extra liquid if you need to (if the rice is dry or not all the way cooked), and stir it thoroughly. Cook 5 to 10 more minutes.
   
9. Prepare for your guests to swoon in ecstasy!