Despicable Donnie has long been claiming he personally ended "eight wars." Or, in late October 2025, he began saying, possibly soon NINE wars.

Over summer 2025, Donald Trump began claiming he had ended "eight wars in eight months." In mid-December, he makes the claim daily — several times a day — that he personally ended eight wars. What "eight wars"? This is what he meant as of December 2025:

1. October 2025: Israel vs. Hamas. A ceasefire was signed on October 10. In December 2025, famine in Gaza caused by Israeli blockades is "a catastrophic humanitarian disaster." ... The next step is supposed to be Hamas's disarmament. On December 11, 2025, the head of Hamas abroad, Khaled Meshaal, said that Israel "wants to take our weapons in any way, even by force. We want ... guarantees that our weapons are hidden, kept, not used." Meanwhile, Israel's National Security Minister, Itamar Ben-Gvir, has been quoted as saying "Hamas must be destroyed."
2. August 2025: Armenia and Azerbaijan have been fighting off and on for more than 40 years. As in several other of these "wars," Armenia and Azerbaijan weren't actually fighting when the Convicted Felon in Chief brought their leaders to the White House and made them sign a "joint declaration emphasizing the need to continue efforts toward the signing and final ratification of [a peace] agreement." Wow! I wonder what a landlord would do with a tenant's declaration emphasizing the need to continue efforts toward the payment of last month's rent?
3. July 2025: After a 5-day cross-border skirmish, the Convicted Felon in Chief warned that if Cambodia and Thailand went to war, the US would stop trading with both sides. The Adjudicated Rapist in Chief insisted on a big-deal "peace agreement," signed in Malaysia on October 26, 2025. War broke out again on December 8, 2025.
4. June 2025: Like Armenia and Azerbaijan, Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of Congo had been fighting for decades. The Felon in Chief brought their leaders to the White House and made them sign a peace agreement on June 27 — and in December 2025, Google AI said, "Intense fighting and civilian casualties continue in eastern DRC."
5. June 2025: Israel vs. Iran. The Trump Regime bombed Iran on June 22 as a favor to Netanyahu, and then "brokered a ceasefire" two days later between Iran and Trump's ally. (I'm sure there were no unpublicized threats from Mr. Peace about what the US might bomb next.) As of December 2025, Iran's nuclear program has been almost fully restored. Iran possesses "significant stockpiles of uranium enriched to near-weapons grade. ... Tensions are extremely high."
6. May 2025: India and Pakistan. The Indian military launched deadly attacks on Pakistan after a terrorist attack in Kashmir. Trump announced "a full and immediate ceasefire" — and India replied, we have the 1960 Indus Waters Treaty, the 1966 Tashkent Declaration, the 1972 Simla Agreement, and the 1999 Lahore Declaration, thank you anyway. The possession of Kashmir remains disputed.
7. July 2020: Egypt and Ethiopia were in a diplomatic standoff, because Egypt was afraid of what Ethiopia's Renaissance Dam would do to Egypt's water supply. They never fought, although Ethiopia accused the Adjudicated Rapist in Chief of saying Egypt wanted to blow up the dam. The Felon now claims that they would have fought a war were it not for Donnie's brilliant mediation.
8. September 2020: Serbia and Kosovo have had territorial disputes since Kosovo declared independence in 2008; in 2025 Serbia still says it owns Kosovo, and NATO is still pushing for peace talks that never arrive — no matter what the Felon in Chief says.

That's it. Those are Trump's "eight wars." Number of conflicts he has actually ended: Zero. But he'll keep making the claim, over and over, because he knows that a lie repeated often enough eventually becomes accepted as true. In fact, he's repeated the lie so often he probably believes it himself.

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