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The Stress Diet
||4 oz. broiled chicken breast
|1 slice whole-wheat bread, no butter
||1 cup zucchini
|8 oz. skim milk
||1 Oreo cookie
||1 cup herb tea
| Rest of the package of Oreo cookies
||1 large pizza with "the works," extra cheese
|1 pint Rocky Road ice cream
||2 loaves garlic bread, extra butter
|1 jar hot fudge
||1 pitcher of beer
|8 oz. chopped nuts
||3 candy bars
|| Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from freezer
| Rest of the freezer
- Diet sodas actually remove the calories from fattening food.
- Snacks consumed in a movie or a bowling alley or at a county fair (or similar
places) do not count, as they are part of the entertainment.
- Pieces of cookies contain no calories. The process of breaking causes all
the calories to leak out.
- Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong
enough for the calories to see their way into the food.
- A bite off someone else's plate has no calories. Similarly, calories don't
count if you eat with someone else and you both eat the same food.
- Food eaten standing up has no calories.
- Food licked off knives, forks, etc. doesn't count if you're in the process
of making something else, like a peanut butter sandwich or an ice cream sundae.
Similarly, food eaten off off beaters (e.g., whipped cream), serving
spoons, cake knives, etc. also does not count after all, you need to
taste what you cook to make sure it's all right.
- Food eaten out of context has no calories for example,
any food eaten in a car, on airplanes, trains, etc.; food meant to be eaten
hot that you eat cold (e.g., lasagna); food meant to be eaten cold
that you eat warm (e.g., half-melted ice cream); food meant to be cooked
that isn't (e.g., cookie dough).
- Food eaten while watching TV or reading doesn't count calories are
like pets, they need attention.
- Food eaten when no one sees you doesn't count.
- Food eaten for medicinal purposes doesn't count even hot chocolate,
brandy, or cheesecake.
- It's all right to eat a little more if the people/person you're with is
fatter than you are.
- Foods that are the same color have the same number of calories. For example,
there is no caloric difference between spinach and key lime pie; radishes
and candy apples; or cottage cheese and vanilla ice cream.
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