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Beer Versus Religion
Some of the Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Religion:
- When you have a beer, you don't knock on strangers' doors trying to give it away.
- Almost no one has ever been shamed for drinking the wrong brand of beer.
- Beer has never caused a major war.
- You know exactly what you're getting when you ask for a beer.
- A six-pack of religion doesn't quench your thirst.
- Beer doesn't tell you how, when, or why to have sex or not to have sex.
- Very few people have ever forced beer on anyone.
- Nobody's ever been drawn and quartered, hanged, or tortured over beer.
- You don't have to wait more than 2,000 years for a second beer.
- Once you've paid for your beer, you're not expected to keep making contributions to
- You can prove that your beer exists.
- If you've devoted your life to beer, there are groups to help you stop.
- You don't burn the barmaid at the stake if she offers you a different brand of beer.
- No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
Some of the Reasons Why Religion Is Better than Beer:
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- Too much religion does not induce vomiting.
- There's no chance of waking up in bed naked with an unattractive stranger after too
- Jesus is free; beer starts at $2.50 a six-pack.
- Religion has a lot fewer calories.
- Holy water doesn't affect your sense of balance.
- How many fistfights do you see in a church?
- Religion won't give you a hangover.
- Your spouse won't complain that your breath stinks of religion.
- You can have as much religion as you like, and still drive home later.
- Your religion won't shatter if you drop it on the ground.
- You can shake up your religion, and it won't explode.
- You don't have to get your stomach pumped for overdosing on religion.
- The day after going to church, you can remember everything that happened.
- You don't have to worry about getting religion stains on your clothes.
- Saying "Oh, God!" is much more fun in church than kneeling over the toilet.
- The police won't arrest you for accepting Jesus under age.
- It's okay to drive and be open to Jesus.
- Jesus was crucified for our sins — beer is just pasteurized.
- Jesus comes in a handy one-pack.
- Jesus is who you need in emergencies — beer is only useful when you find a burning
- Try driving a nail through a can of beer and see what happens.
- Beer just doesn't have the same after-sales service that you get from religion.
- Too much religion won't kill you. (Perhaps just the opposite!)