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Diversions

Wondering what your future may hold? Ask Nostradamus! This fully automated quatrain generator will let you into an automated recreation of the mind of the famous seer.

Okay, you know that you're more likely to get hit by lightning than to win the lottery — more than twice as likely if you live in Florida. You know that the French call the lottery voluntary taxation of the stupid. But you still play from time to time, don't you? “Kurt's Better Lottery Numbers” simulates years of play, so you can find out whether your favorite set of numbers is a dream or a dud.

Want to pet a pussycat? Maukie is a delightful Shockwave movie. She follows the cursor with her head and eyes, purrs when you pet her, meows when you stroke her forehead, and has a few other curiously enjoyable behaviors. (If you don't have a plug-in for Shockwave, you can download it for free from Macromedia.

Have you ever had one of those frustrating days when you wanted a really good curse, the kind that leaves its target feeling crushed — but that still isn't foul-mouthed or blasphemous? You've come to the right place with “The Curse Bot”!

Alternatively, you can try out the Automatic Flatterer. There are dozens of pages on the Net that simply duplicate the original version, which simply gives you the same five compliments over and over. This version chooses among dozens of compliments. It's not going to be any more realistic than any other version — but you still may feel better.

Say you're at a meeting, and you're suddenly expected to come up with an insight that your Dilbert-type boss thinks is brilliant. Don't be stumped! Try the “Insight” Generator and baffle them with your expert b.s.

Wondering on what day of the week a particular event fell, or will fall? (What day of the week will your birthday be in 2010?) Try the Day of the Week calculator and find out!

Not afraid of how the Bush Administration is trying to eviscerate the U.S. Constitution and take away as many of your personal freedoms as humanly possible? Maybe a visit to this page will change your mind.

 

3312 : 05Oct03


Jerry Merchant and Mary Matthews


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